I'm a piler. I pile papers; I pile books; I pile boxes. I pile. haha...now the word "pile" looks funny and sounds funny. Anyway, I'm a piler. I pile things up until they're just about to fall...and then I start a new pile! This works great for papers and other inanimate things (though it would be better if I just found a place for those things instead of piling them in the first place), but it doesn't work so great for people, or emotions, or feelings.
I'm one of those people that never wants to displease anyone, and so in an effort to maintain a good relationship with everybody, I pile those things that annoy the crud out of me. I mean, I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings...even if something needs to be said. So I pile those frustrations up one on top of the other until that pile begins to precariously sway. And not wanting it to fall, I push on one side, but then the other side begins to teeter, so I run to that side, but then the first side begins to sway again, and I run to that side, and then the other side begins to teeter...
You get the idea. And eventually, all those frustrations and pent-up emotions that I piled fall into a huge, disheveled heap. And I'm left to sort through them. Sadly, I usually try to put them back in piles, instead of just letting them go.
When will I start living the way Jesus wants me to? Quietly exhorting others to keep up the faith and fight the good fight. Gently reminding others of the faith they once knew and should come back to. And when will I let that pile go? I don't need to pile it up in the first place; those frustrations need no place in my life. Please, Father, purge my piles...and help me get back to focusing primarily on You.