I have a poem in a frame and, in all likelihood, I bought it at a yard sale when I was like 12 or something, but I've kept it around because it's so true. I have no clue who wrote it, so Anonymous has written yet another little gem. It goes like this:

My life is but a weaving between my Lord and me
I cannot choose the colors nor all the pattern see
Oft times He weaveth sorrow and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper and I the under side
Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly
Shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the weaver's skillful hands
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned

Many times in my life I have read that poem over and over. I actually have it memorized! My favorite line is "Oft times He weaveth sorrow and I in foolish pride forget He sees the upper and I the under side." That line resonated with me so much when I was struggling with infertility, and it resonates now when I see my friends struggling and when I struggle.

Our sermon tonight at church was on Jacob wrestling with the angel, but the pastor also brought in Paul's affliction, and how Paul begged God to take it away, but God wouldn't. He left Paul with that affliction, whatever it was, until Paul met God face to face in heaven.

We all have some kind of affliction, don't we? Whether it's physical, emotional, social, or a combination of those things, our lives aren't perfect. They're far from it. And, if you're like me at all, you've probably wondered aloud to God (or at least silently) why you're stuck with whatever it is that isn't great. I know I wondered so often, "God, what are You trying to teach me by not allowing me to get pregnant? God, why am I stuck with this?" I still don't know why we couldn't get pregnant right away, and I don't know that I learned everything God wanted me to, but I do know this: one day, when I meet God face to face in heaven, it will all be clear.

I'll finally see the upper and not the under side.