There's a song by Casting Crowns that I have continually played over and over in my car for the last little bit. The name of it escapes me, but the chorus goes like this:
When I'm weak
You make me strong
When I'm blind
You shine Your light on me
Cuz I'll never get by
Livin' on my own ability...
There's more, but that part is what really stands out to me lately. In my perfectionistic little world, everything is always supposed to be hunky-dory all the time, and when it's not I tend to get very frustrated very easily. But we all know that life isn't always blue skies and rainbows and sweet little birds singing in the trees. More often than not, it can be akin to trudging through mud puddles, trying to keep your feet dry. It's just hard, and it takes way too much concentration, and then you miss all the neat things around you.
Being a mommy is alot like that for me. I get frustrated when Henry isn't just the way I want him to be or when his mouth hurts and he can't help but cry, because he can't say, "My mouth hurts Mommy. Make it stop." And then I feel bad because I'm frustrated. I think because it took us so long to get pregnant that I feel like I always have to be happy about being a mommy. And, let's face it, it's not always fun to be a mommy. Sometimes it down right stinks, and right now, that's how I feel. Teething stinks. I'm tired. I want to be able to sleep all night long without having to get up to feed a little one.
And during those times, I just need to remember the song lyrics. God doesn't ask me to do this by myself. He knows I can't do this by myself. When I'm weak (like right now) He makes me strong by giving me Him. He knows I can't get by on my own accord. That's why He sent His Son. That's why He sends peace and grace and love and hope and all those feel-good kinds of things. That's what I need to remember during the mud-puddle times. Just around the corner, there will be blue skies and rainbows and sweetly singing birds in the trees. One step at a time. One step at a time...
Thank you, thank you!
Thank you, thank you! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way sometimes. You are a treasure, and our friendship is a wonderful blessing to me! ~Laura
Being a Mommy requires
Being a Mommy requires endless energy on very little feedback and encouragement. It can be depressing to be at home all day feeling useless, bored, and uninspired. Yet, this too shall pass and it is only for a time. No doubt we will both look back on it as the greatest of times. It is very normal to feel this way. I think you are right to turn to God for more fulfillment instead of some sort of pleasure or even your little guy. God alone will restore your soul - His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful even when our emotions betray us all. Praying his teething subsides.