Keeping Up Appearances

I have a Facebook account, and I got the account several years ago to keep up with my college and high school friends. It's pretty cool to see how everybody has changed, what jobs we have, where we live, who we married, and who has children. It's a way to be connected with people, though the best way to be connected is through actual physical friendships, phone calls, and visits.

It's funny, though, because while I like knowing what my high school friends are up to, it brings back all the insecurities I felt while in high school. In the back of my mind, I always wonder if this person actually wants to be my "friend on Facebook," or if they just click "ok" because they don't want to hurt my feelings. I wonder, too, if the friends I had in high school would be the same friends I would choose now. Sometimes, I think it would be nice to be able to do high school now, because I have more confidence in myself, and I'm okay with the person I am. But I'm pretty sure that I would turn back into that awkward teenager if I had a redo with high school.

I don't know, getting married gave me such a big confidence boost. I can't explain why, but I guess having someone totally unrelated to you actually want to spend their spare time with you everyday just makes you feel loved and secure. I think we all want that feeling--that somebody really, really likes us, not because they have to, but just because they want to. And, really, all along, Jesus has been that way to me. I just tend to forget that when I get so caught up in trying to be a certain way to please people. If I just focused on Him and what He wants me to do, I would always have that loved and secure feeling I so long for. It's been there all along. I need to remember that next time I log on to Facebook...